Dear City of Cape Town
I am really in a very bad mood with you guys. Truth is, I feel like you are taking the piss, and I don’t think you should be taking anything right now. I am sitting here, sipping my bought water very slowly, trying not to sweat because I can’t shower, and failing to control my temper because I cannot believe your disgusting behaviour.
Without virtue signalling, like madam premier, I have been a dedicated and high performing water saver. We have drastically reduced our water usage, have systems in place to use all grey water and we buy drinking water for humans and pets. I support and encourage all efforts by our neighbours, friends and even further afield on social media, and I interact and intervene with people in public and work spaces to create further awareness.
Not that it matters, but I was one of the very, very few who was vocal in my support of increased water tariffs based on the value of my property, even though I knew the suggestion was because you guys were caught in a catch 22; asking for people to use less water meant you had created a cash flow problem and were getting less hard cash.
I was active in solving your mistakes when you installed our new water meter and it leaked. I was proactive in getting us back onto the system when you guys couldn’t see what the problem was, even though our meter hadn’t been read for over a year after being installed and our water was estimated.
I am perfectly comfortable with the effort I have made to bring my water usage down to the targets you have set every time they have changed, and I have been living fearfully with the idea of #DayZero as a real possibility.
So, now I feel you guys need to come to the party you forced me to attend.
Let’s start with your hideous, inappropriate mascot. Please explain who signed that off and then who executed it. How did that pass any kind of inspection? Who thought that was cool? Who pays for it? Honestly, I have seen better outfits at charity shops.
Let’s move on to the helicopter banner. Who is paying for the helicopter and banner that flies around our skies with Day Zero, Save Water on it. That’s it. How do you imagine justifying the cost of that? My brain hurts when I think about it. Help me understand how this is an effective part of your awareness campaign.
Finally, I see via the news yesterday that there is a glitch in your new water monitoring system that you have just switched over to and you will be charging us for water based on last year’s usage for the same month. So, last year our water meter was broken, and the reading was an estimation on the year before. Also, we will now not have an accurate (or even general) reading so we can see our usage and our water saving. Plus, water prices have gone up, so we will be paying more for water we haven’t actually used. No. This does not compute.
We need your help here if you want us to play ball. I am sick of your threatening ads warning us about what is going to happen if we don’t do what you say, when you ride roughshod over all our efforts and betray us when it matters. I am shocked that you have made no real inroads in reducing water consumption in the bad suburbs of Constantia, Fresnaye and Camps Bay when my Woodstock is coming in well under target.
Your handling of this drought has left so much to be desired. You have lurched from shouting school headmaster to ‘our-hands-are-tied’ blamers of National government. Now, as I sit here seething at the sound of that helicopter circling for the fourth time over a very water wise suburb, I want you to understand how I feel. I feel like Mrs. Kippie, and you are taking me for one.