Diski
Who will teach me to diski dance? I keep seeing the ads all over TV, and it looks like the whole of South Africa has been having secret lessons. Now, I’m no dancer, it’s true, but I want to know the steps! I want to be able to break out in a queue. I want to ’share’ in the excitement and enthusiasm and world cup fever in an entirely non-soccer way; I don’t care much for the beautiful game. I want to be inspired at PicknPoo. I want to diski down Darling Street!
Really, what is the whole point of having a special South African world cup dance if all it is is an advertising campaign? I put a suggestion in at Virgin Active that maybe they could find someone to teach the diski to us, but nobody responded to my suggestion. They probably didn’t take it out of the suggestion box. Along with my others, mainly complaining about the ubiquitous gym cockroaches. I give up with that idea. But, Virgin Active aside, where can we find someone to teach the thing? Anyone know?
Survivor!
Sandi and the Proteas didn’t. Survive, that is. But unlike the Proteas, who really didn’t ever look like they were in the game against a blazing India today, poor ole Sandi didn’t see it coming! And I felt quite sorry for her actually, unlike the unscratchable itch of irritation I felt for the South African cricket camp. Come on cricket strategists! It doesn’t take brain surgery to work out that a. we need to have some proper spinners in the team when SA play in the sub continent, and b. the Proteas need to know how to play against the Indian spin bowlers. Not rocket science. I am disappointed. Now, it’s time to thank Herschel and send him on his way, and JP Duminy needs to go back to the drawing board. I hate it when the Proteas go two nil down in a three game series.
Know what I think? I think the Proteas could learn some spin from the Survivor contestants. Shoo whee, how was tonight’s episode? What a lot of twisting and turning, back spinning, back pedalling, double talking, back stabbing blind siding and tension making stuff. That Timbila team scared me tonight! And Sandi Schultz was the sacrificial somebody. I think she just tried to keep too low a profile, and she got blitzed. Yo, and that Ashleigh Hayden plays a tough game. She certainly didn’t need those lovely reward pillows; I think she needed to stay awake all night every night to plot and scheme. And then there was poor Louw! His macho sensibilities got hurt man, and it was quite cute, and terribly transparent to see all that stuff at play. At least it’s out there, on the surface. Not like that Ashleigh! A snake in the grass, I tell ya, a real spin bowler.
I was quite freaked out when my favourite, Gys, had to go over to snake-in-the-grass team, so I’m relieved that next week will see the merger. Then it’s every survivor for themselves! Could start to get really interesting. Hmmm. Seems like I’m hooked again! Which is just as well, since I can’t watch the cricket anymore!
Newlands New Year Test
I have to hurry this morning. I’m taking my car in (again), need to walk dogs, and do stuff quick before being dropped off at Newlands for the second day of the test.
Yesterday was such a jaul. The stadium was packed, the weather, which started really badly with rain, played with, and there was proper exciting, albeit nerve wracking cricket to watch. Kallis saved the day, and made it bearable.
It was slightly disconcerting being there with so many barmy army; vocal supporters of England. I can’t believe how many there are! At least we had one heckling SA supporter who was tuning from just behind us.
I need to say it; a test is over five days so there will be times when it is more exciting to watch paint dry. Lucky for us there is a little lady making that possible. She is painting the stadium, while we’re in it.
I’m back there today for more of the same only Big Friendly needs to work so I am taking my friend’s husband, who is from Guernsey! It’s going to be a very interesting day.
Eina Cricket
I literally couldn’t watch the game on TV last night. I had to keep channel hopping; pretending I was engrossed in that damn irritating Supernanny who went to the U S of A to go and fix their disgusting children and pathetic, ‘disempowered’ parents. I swear, watching those children scream and throw food and furniture was easier than watching ‘Gram’ Smith hobbling to a loss, with cramp and not enough runs on the board.
Eish and eina! What happens to the Proteas when they are in these international tournaments at home? It’s agony; for them, their supporters and fans, the broadcasters, the reporters and even bloggers.
So, now we’ll get pages of analysis, discussion, excuses. And the reality of it is that they just weren’t match ready. But, actually, as hosts of an international competition they needed to be. Sies. Straight to the naughty corner!
Holly Ha!
I haven’t really written a proper word about cricket in a while, but the Aussies being blown out of the ICC 2020 World Cup is quite something. Shame. Not.
Better than Susan Boyle
I’ll get to her later, and shatter your bleary eyed dreams, but the best thing on the interweb right now is fake IPL player. Wow. The guys are going nuts!
IPL; it’s just not India
Don’t get me wrong; I am still watching, I have chosen a favourite team (ish) and I love the game. But it really isn’t the same as last year, is it?
First up, we had a proper Cape Town winter weekend. Which is to be expected, since it is actually the middle of April. Then, we had a Newlands special. The lights got broke. Then there was a dog on the field. For eleven minutes. I kid you not.
My biggest issue though was the crowd. Now, I was in Oudshoorn when the tickets for the IPL went on sale, and Big Friendly told me that they sold out in an hour and a half. So I was expecting to see that. I mean, the magnificence of seeing a game in India is the size of the crowd and its passion! But no, at Newlands the cameramen had to cheat and angle their crowd shots to avoid the vast empty seats. Who were those tickets sold to? It’s only 15000 or so seats. Surely we could have managed a better crowd? I don’t get it.
Woza weekend
Like you can’t believe. I am so happy so see the back of this last week, which, for many reasons, has been hard, horrible and stressful. I start today with a Femina photo shoot, with me and three gorgeous stand-up comic women! Should be interesting. Then I have a session in the recording studio to finish up some long drawn out project. But, after that, I am going to take advantage of a birthday present and have an hour’s flotation session and a full body massage.
Then, out for a bite with best friends, then, a wedding ceremony tomorrow, not to mention the IPL all weekend. Woza!!!!!!
Proteas on a Roll
And by that I mean they are solidly whupping the Aussies, not something to be eaten for brekfis, and nothing makes me as smirky. I have been a typical SA supporter; sulky and complaining and full of opinions when we lose, and totally forgiving and forgetful when we win. So, we lost the at home test series (which we won in Australia), we won the 2020 (which we lost in Australia) and now we have completely won the one day series here at home, making The Proteas the best one day side in the world.
Watching cricket is amazing. It is an investment; in one’s time, energy and concentration; a one day game is just that – it lasts for the whole day! each game has ups and downs dips and peaks, moments of craziness and sections of extreme nothing. It is unpredictable and temperamental. It depends on the pitch, the weather, the spin, the bounce, the wind, the grass, the outfield. It depends on the attitude, the confidence, the teamwork of the players. It depends on the toss up, the altitude, the crowd, the speed, the line, the umpires.
I have heard commentators dredge up examples and statistics and anecdotes from games played decades ago. I have heard commentators vloek a player out of a game, just by mentioning how well they are doing. Next thing, bam! Out. I have seen players come back into form and drop out again. I have complained about Graeme Smith as much as I’ve praised him.
And now comes the IPL! Big Friendly and I loved watching the competition last year and now it’s here in SA. I couldn’t believe that the games here at Sahara Park Newlands were sold out in an hour and a half! How cool is that? I don’t have a single ticket. But I’ll be glued to the box. I think I’m rooting for the Mumbai Indians.
I love it!
I needed something to cheer me up and I got exactly what I wanted. A lekker krekker of a 2020 and the Proteas winning in the end. I love 2020. It’s short, furious, reckless, personality cricket (except for the dancing bunnies after boundaries, better than those Standard bank Kaboom girls, but still). Last night’s personalities were Aussie David Hussey, who slam dunked 88 off 44 balls and then took two wickets for 21, and Albie Morkel who did a few huge sixes for SA. It was Mark Boucher who won the game though. The old terrier hung on with his teeth and saved the night.
It was a bit scary when one of the big lights blew after the Aussies had bowled just three balls to the Proteas. I could see there was an electrical problem at the ground; the cameras had been jumping and frame flickering all night. All the stadia in SA have to be tiptop for the….IPL!!!
I can’t wait. I loved last year’s 2020 competition and this year it’s going to be played here. It is so cool. Yay.
This has at least shifted my gloom about what is happening here politically. I had one of those Oprah lightbulb moments yesterday. I realised (probably years after everybody else) that zoom zoom Zuma is not going to go to court. I realised that something somewhere was going to change to make that a reality regardless of the law of the land or the constitution or the NPA or anything. I guess I always knew that. But it’s the fact that people are literally ok to put a crook into the seat of the presidency of this country that made me miserable. I mean, the reality is that we are going to have a president and we can’t believe a word he says. And he is going to be ‘chosen’ in a democratic way. People are going to vote for the guy. It’s too depressing to contemplate.
I seriously hope there is an IPL match scheduled for voting day. That’s what I’ll be watching.
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Randomness
