I have been working on a weird, complicated, amazing, impossible to explain voice over job for years now. It has always been a difficult project without clearly defined roles and different people coming and going. It’s never been a money spinner, although I always believed (and still maintain) that it has huge potential. I developed a strange friendship/partnership/hatred for the boss and owner of the teeny company, who was also in my year at school, ironically. Anyway, to cut a drearily long story short, I got emotionally entangled in this project and I also involved different friends and colleagues in it at various stages. Big mistake. Yesterday, after a little set-to with one of the new ‘bosses’ and a big hoo ha with the main old boss, I decided to pull out of the project altogether. It has just become too complicated, fraught and messy, and nowhere near worth all the time, energy and commitment I have given to it.
The weird thing is, I think there was cowardly relief from the big boss when I pulled out. I think it kind of sanctioned him moving on without me (I have been too busy these last few weeks and coming few weeks to focus on the project, although ample warning about my other commitments were given).
The weird thing is; even though I am relieved to be out of the mess I am still completely hurt by it. I hope it’s not an ego thing, because that would just be silly. But I am hurt. Weird.