I have just had a blinding realisation. It happened while looking at a pic of a man and a signboard. He was advertising his show at the Edinburgh festival. My heart did a lurch when I identified with him and imagined how he felt. Here is a screenshot of the pic.Â Totally innocent and cute, unless you know how he feels. and I do. So, I am looking at this guy and suddenly I know that I will never, ever beg for an audience for my work again. I will tell people about it, and promote it, and write about it and be proud of it, for sure. But I am done begging. And it feels fantastic just knowing that.
That is the epiphany part of this post. The insight part is about my gorgeous and special boy dog Linus, who has a recurring condition that makes him very sick. He is at the vet as I write this, and he is seeing another specialist vet tomorrow so we can make plans to manage his problem better. Truly, there is nothing sadder than a sick pet. I am so haunted by his sickness and how responsible I am for him, beyond words. I ache for him especially since he has no idea why he feels so terrible. I really need a god of small things here. Instead, we will do everything to find out what is wrong and hope that we can help. But it is so, so hard. Here is a beautiful pic of my boy.Â
I love him so much.
And now for a few ramblings.
1. This is the first time the first day of Spring has been a gorgeous, hot, still, beautiful day that I can remember. I have lived in cape Town for 21 years this time around and 1 September is usually winter.
2. You need a Yellow Fever jab when you go to Zanzibar because you can’t come back into SA unless you have one. It isn’t the other way around.
3. I am mid-travel on a roadshow, with a week of travel left and I can’t multitask when I am away. I can’t think of the next project if I am in a strange town.
4. Sugar free ginger beer is awesome. I cannot understand why it isn’t totally available everywhere. (Except I don’t love the Woolies one).
5. I am missing improvising. I haven’t for about three weeks and I miss it.
6. I have lost enough weight to buy and wear clothes I like.
7. I am madly in love with my niece and struggle to be apart from her.