I woke up with this little bubble of joy in my chest. It is wintery and my arms are cold out of the bedclothes as I type and the dogs aren’t in their usual rush for me to get out and walk them, instead they are happy to lie on the blankets and snuggle. Back to the joy bubble. Last night was the beginning of my second week of performing Drive With Me at The Alexander Bar and I loved it. After that Charlie Keegan and I read bits of Clouds Like Waves for the monthly Playthings as well, so it was a theatre double bill for me. And I loved it. I absolutely loved it. I loved the whole of Drive With Me and the response from the small but completely engaged audience. I loved getting notes from Liz Mills who is the most attentive and clear director. I loved reading with Charlie, to an audience that doesn’t usually see my work. Afterwards I loved hanging out with The Alexander boys, Nicholas and Edward, and my gorgeous friend Candice D’Arcy, and I loved driving home full of the theatrical possibilities running through my brain. It is absolutely true that I am a theatre animal, and doing it makes me the happiest I can be. I am savouring this feeling. I am completely aware that it is fleeting. There is nothing more shocking than the end of a run. It is like waking up and something being forever gone.
Compared with my deep misery last year, while I was at the festival that shall not be named, I am a different person. Instead of being the invisible ghost of my character Marion Taylor, I feel entirely seen. People are coming to Drive With Me because they want to. I am not desperate, bitter or lost. Don’t get me wrong. I am passionate, driven and hard working (none of that grateful and blessed stuff). I am proud and clear and satisfied that what I am trying to do is almost what I am actually doing, and with writing and acting that is a pretty good result. Bubble of Joy.