I have been frantic; all over social media, making funny videos, dog videos, divination readings, participating in story challenges, cooking, videoing my cooking, exercising, video exercising, doing a writing course, reviewing TV stuff, doing Facebook challenges, and also doing housework, gardening and maintenance. This lockdown has been a gift and a special kind of therapy, as well as an unsettling terror.

Because of completely unforeseeable circumstances, the details of which I won’t go public with, I have spent lockdown on my own, with three animals. My beautiful fat cat Chassie died a couple of weeks before lockdown, so it’s been me, Frieda, Linus and Jasmine.

And I have earned not one cent, nor do I have a single job lined up for the future. I had three little jobs cancelled just before lockdown, and that’s it. It is pretty weird.

Luckily, I have my years of improv training to fall back on and I am really good at turning my what if thoughts to the present. Oh and I have diaphragmatic breathing for calming (and checking if I have COVID19 symptoms).

One of the most striking things about being on my own is having to flow between my own deeply personal, terrifyingly alienated situation and thoughts about others. Thinking about how many people are 1. in the same boat 2. in much worse boats 3. do not have boats 4. are sick 5. have lost someone.

I have to regulate and restrict how I get news. Radio, YouTube and websites are fine, for a limited time each day. Social media is a tornado; once in it is hard to spin out of it.

After the president’s announcement extending the lockdown last night I went to bed thinking that I need to think about things a little differently. I need to ask, what can I do to help? I can’t help with money, but I can listen, make things, share ideas, reach out, and write.

That’s why I am back here, on this blog, resurrecting it for some sharing.