Megan's Head

A place where Megan gets off her head.

Low Resistance

I am having one of those days. Some days the news fills me with a riotous outrage and I end up cursing, writing radical (and often alienating) facebum updates and tweets, starting or signing petitions (even though I know their valuelessness) and looking for places to vent. Today is not one of those days. Today my heart feels like it is going to explode. I was caught vulnerable this morning by my two current (and forever, actually) soft spots, Gaza and animal abuse. Now before you get hysterical, I am not saying they are comparable in any way, they are just my two soft spots.

The first thing I read about today was the Israeli deputy speaker calling for concentration camps in Gaza and I had to stop myself from crying out loud. I was undone by this last assault on my humanity by the Israeli government and powers that be. But the more I thought about it the more depressed I became. You see, as a Jew (in the diaspora) my standpoint is not the popular one. I am on the fringe, and called self-loathing Jew, anti-Semitic Jew, Arab-lover, to name a few. And I do not get it. I do not understand how we are not the main, majority, wave of massive outcry kind of people, instead of the few ‘crazies’ swimming against the tide. It is hideous, depressing and beyond my tolerance right now.

Then there was the picture of “This dog was left in a cage for so long it rusted shut”. And my heart. My fucking heart. I cannot. I can’t walk around with that feeling all day, of that animal. Of that Giraffe who died. Of intelligent pigs and the abject suffering they endure, to be eaten. I know. I know exactly what I sound like. But today my resistance is too low. And I just want to weep.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Gail

    do you know about the March on Saturday?

  2. megan

    No Gail. Please post a link here.

  3. Trevor du Buisson

    Cruel world. Most times we have to blot it out simply for our sanity. Other times it simply gets to you. I will never forget the discussion we had where you reminded me that this world is first and foremost about survival and suffering. All else follows, nurturing and unconditional love.

    To tread the middle path and be cognisant of both is good. Our biorhythms dictate in the moment which way we sway.

    The giraffe story made me furious. But then I take consolation in the fact that my new addition to my family is growing super-fast. He is going to be a big boy! He has taken to sitting in the tree before bedtime and yowling at the top of his lungs to let the entire neighbourhood know of his existence. He is a real and legitimate tomcat. He still comes back and purrs like a rocket, falls asleep with his head between his curled paws and tongue sticking out.

  4. Margot Hattingh

    I have begun to not look or actually want to hear what the latest atrocities are in Gaza, animal rights, woman and child abuse or any other terrible thing. The days spent literally just crying and utterly defeated by it all, paralysed by grief, are not helping anything. The horror, truly the horror, that images of atrocity have become banal. What is to be done?

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