I have learned to live with spam. I delete the stuff without reading it and get on with my life, but there is one piece of spam that is driving me so nuts at the moment that I can barely contain myself when I see it. So here goes spam spew purge.

Do you get this one? Get a diploma for a better job is its title. Then the first line, in caps, is, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! The cheek of it! The absolute nerve!

So, here I sit, with a pretty worthless BA and performer’s diploma that took me four years to complete with a united effort between parents, many part time jobs and the incredibly lucky award of a scholarship in my final year of study. But, however many set-works I didn’t read, skimmed or study aided, I still had to go. I still had to be there, write the exams, get the certificate. Which, the truth be told, I don’t even think I have anymore, it was all so long ago.

Now, just because you have an email address, you deserve a fake degree, with which you can go out and con your future employer, family and friends (who will wonder at your hidden genius, having been able to hide all that studying from them) and to join the ranks of some few of our own disgraced politicians with their own list of fake degrees. coughkarlcough.

It’s obvious why I find this one so offensive. I don’t mind the penis enlargements, cheap Viagra, fake Lottery winnings. They all play on the vanity and greed that make some people complete, blithering, gullible morons. But fake degrees! That you deserve! because without it nobody takes you seriously, you can’t get a decent job, you are not qualified! Isn’t that the whole damn point about degrees? You do them so you can get a better job (except for a BA and performer’s diploma) and be qualified (except for the performer’s diploma). Give me a break already! Wait, come to think of it (after rereading this) I think I deserve a medical degree. Because really, I just never did get one the real way around. I deserve it!