Megan's Head

A place where Megan gets off her head.

special anniversary

Today is the six year anniversary of me giving up smoking once and for all. I can’t believe that it’s been that long, and that I still think about it, dream about smoking and live with the hideous fear of what would happen if I started again. Giving up smoking was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It took me about nine tries in four years before finally getting it right. And to be honest, I am still living with the effects. I get unfit and out of breath so easily. I have been swimming at the gym these last two days (you know, that all too familiar New Year’s resolution) and I don’t know where my breath has gone. I am overweight. I put on about 14 kilos in total when I gave up smoking, and it is hell to try and get rid of. 

I am an irritating ex-smoker. I talk to smokers like they are idiots. I swear that if I could do it, so could they. I hate the smell of smoke and I get hysterical if people smoke indoors. I find the smell of smokers difficult. all the things I used to not care about when I smoked myself!

I can’t believe that cigarette companies are still allowed to make and sell cigarettes. I get upset when I see kids smoking. I am an old ex-smoker! Who would have thought?

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9 Comments

  1. ray

    Well, happy anniversary! Me, I’m a 2-year novice at giving up – it was on New Year’s, but not as a resolution. Just seemed right. For ages I didn’t want to try, because I feared I’d get really really sick, and, as addicts are wont to do, I “really couldn’t afford the time” to be sick. Just another in a long list of things to fool ourselves. I got lucky. I never had a problem, never really suffered as so many around me did. At first, that is. Some time down the line, yep – there it was, as you say, ballooning weight, weird physical manifestations (I’ll spare gory details), just not feeling kiff.

    So I salute your 6 year resolve! I too would rage at kids to not try it, but fear would appear real conservative and stuffy. Ah well. Who wrote: “I never dared be rebellious when young for fear I would be conservative later” (or something like that)? Bet you he never smoked. The hack. Hack. Hack.

  2. Jason

    Why does Big Friendly have a photo of you on his blog warming up the pavement with a box of cigarettes in your hand? HA!

  3. megan

    That’s my Sony Ericsson, you moegoe! Can’t tell a cellie from a cilla! Hau bo!…(Embarrassed pause)…I’ve just looked at the pic again and it’s Dylans pack of Ben 10 cards! Askies and sorry.

  4. Jason

    Ben 10 box of cards… filled with cilla’s.
    Anyway, congrats on the anniversary, its not an easy task. And all the best to you and your loved ones for 2000-and-Shine.

  5. megan

    ha ha! and thanks for wishes.

  6. Margie

    Hi Megan, Well I can’t congratulate you enough – is true! Today is my sixth day, believe it or not. I am incredibly proud that all my family members are still alive and in reasonable good health, as I became COMPLETELY irrational with my previous tries.

    But after (dare I say it) 29 years of smoking, I have managed 6 days without a cigarette. And I hope I can one day say 6 years.

    But oi, it is hard.

  7. megan

    Wow Margie!
    Here’s some advice (for what it’s worth); be very kind to yourself. allow yourself to feel everything. Stay away from other smokers; they all lie when they say they enjoy it and secretly wish they were you. All my strength sister.

  8. Margie

    Without wanting to turn this into the stop smoking personal Margie service, a message to say that I lasted 10 days and folded. DAMN!!!!!! I truly want to stop and am hating this addiction so much! But I was unprepared for being so emotionally overwhelmed. And literally overwhelmed, it just came in waves.
    Will try again, though. Not sure how…. But truly do hate it and am seeing it as purely an addiction and nothing more. But it is hard!

    I ADMIRE YOU FOR HAVING DONE THIS THING. WELL DONE MEGAN!

  9. megan

    Oh Margs! It is so hard. Be kind, gather your resources and when you are ready, try again. An eighty-a-day sixty year old man I know is a three month ex-smoker today!

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