Megan's Head

A place where Megan gets off her head.

Tag: internet

Limbless without Internet

With the law of averages it was bound to happen, and now we are in it. On Sunday morning we woke up to no internet connection and a stone dead land line. The usual jumping through hoops with Hellkom is always a challenge with on-line forms pretty unworkable, phone in fault systems utterly laborious and maze-like in their inefficiency, and of course, the usual lying reply of “they’re working on it right now and will call you in 5 minutes” a kind of standard response if you ever get to speak to a human.

I can’t believe how much of my work depends on me being online. I feel completely bereft and crippled. I am currently using my cell phone as a hotspot so I can write this, because I feel like I have broken a promise I made to myself to write every day.

And I keep remembering bits and pieces of things I needed to do, or said I would do and am not doing. Even just paying my cellphone account, or sending a press release.

I am totally useless at trying to imagine what needs to happen in order for it to be magically fixed. Big Friendly is a tech angel in my life when it comes to that, only he is feeling limbless without online access too. We are like a household that has been struck by a tech plague.

So stay with me online friends, and virtually hold my hand and un social media’ed thoughts while I sit, immobile in the real world until connectivity is restored.

Peanut butter and why the internet is amazing

In a case of Christmas morning bounty from nature I found a pine cone on our morning dog walk and it was full of pine nuts. I am talking the most full pine cone ever.

20141225_115050 I set about taking the nuts out and within seconds my hands were coated with very impossibly gooey pine sap. Sticky, brown, sticks to everything sap. So I asked Big Friendly to google for the best way to remove pine sap from skin and within nano seconds he had found a few options on the magical internet. I decided to try the first one, because it was one ingredient, I had some in the cupboard, and it promised to take 30 seconds.

Peanut butter.

20141225_115037Big friendly gave me a tablespoon of peanut butter (Black Cat crunchy if you must know) and I rubbed it into my hands for about 30 seconds. It felt fantastic, and smelled amazing. And then I washed it off. That is it. Peanut butter took off every last sticky blob of pine sap.


20141225_115229Which is why I love the internet, and nature, and peanut butter. Best internet solution ever.


I woke up in another world this morning. A chain of interesting and unforeseen events has brought me to Oudshoorn Klein Karoo Nationale Kunstefees, and I’m under an umbrella in the sweltering heat at a funny table, just outside Die Burgersentrum, with the smell of braai and roosterbrood strong in the air, furiously writing before my battery runs out.

Famous last words. My battery did run out. Luckily Windows Live Writer saved what I had done and I’m back at the guesthouse writing while my battery charges, but I’ll have to go back into town to post it! I spent the morning wondering around, trying to find WI-FI and I don’t know if it was because I’m probably one of four English speakers in the whole town, but nobody really knew what I was talking about, and the only definite answer I got was from an actual internet cafe who explained that because of blah blah blah and blah blah blah, nobody except the Oudshoorn Hotel had WI-FI.

The hotel was far away and I was meeting someone close by and I really didn’t want to give up my amazing parking spot, so I switched on my computer and managed to find a WI-FI connection and connected! I think I am the only person who knows it exists!

So here I am. For just under a week, helping my friend with her enormous workload, including the organising of the Kanna Award Ceremony. And it’s a real eye opener. The only other time I came to this festival was about 13 years ago and it was a horrible, conservative affair, famous for being the year that Miriam Makeba was ‘thrown with’ cans, and Steve Hofmeyr punched a reporter. Thirteen years later the festival is a well-oiled machine, and the Kanna offices are testimony to that. They are calm and cool and serene, with the cars and bustle and flea-markets and beer tents and braai downstairs on the streets. It’s as if there are two festivals here; the high art creative one and the man in the street one. It takes some getting used to.

I must say though, what has stood me in unbelievably good stead with the theatre community is the winning of  the Fleur du Caps. Instant cred and recognition, I tell you. Thanks again FdC and Distell.

So, while I’m here I’ll get to see some of the shows; which is most cool. And then I’ll write about them; which is cooler.

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