EmptyN and me

If it wasn’t so sad it would be hilarious. This is real. I also can’t believe that the EmptyN person has read my name and then mis-spelled it. Be still my shrieking tits! The good news is I learned to do a screen shot on Mac a Tiny!

Latest MTN fail

I am sounding like a stuck record, but MTN take the cake as the worst service provider I have ever had the misfortune of getting involved with.

This is a summary of the latest meganshead – MTN saga, kept short for fear of all the nodding in sympathetic agreement going on too long. On Monday I noticed that I couldn’t make outgoing calls. I called the infamous call centre. The first person I spoke to told me that my account had been suspended (without warning I must add) because of ┬áno payment. I was sure I had paid, but in order to reconnect I had to pay and email proof of payment. I did. Nothing happened. In the meantime I found my original payment, made on the 31 December, way too early for MTN to have noticed, obviously. So, then I had to call again. The second person I spoke to said I needed to send that proof of payment, and btw, it could take up to 24 hours for reconnection.

Miraculously, my service was reconnected. Yesterday morning I phoned to find out where my double payment was and when I would get it back. Yes, the third person could see I had lodged the complaint. It had been logged at 2110, four and a half hours after I had made it. To the question of where my money was and when could I get it back, no, it was with accounts, and they don’t take calls. Here is where I went a bit insane and demanded to speak to someone who wasn’t a call centre person. To be honest I could not bear to hear how my complaint was going to be escalated. I have heard this too many times before, and there is nothing at all at the top of MTN’s escalator. I was promised that the supervisor would call me back. Hahahahahahahaha!!!! (translated: mad manic hysterical non believing laughter). When I phoned again at 1600 I managed to work myself into a rage too big for the fourth person I spoke to and she put me through to a ‘manager’. I have no idea what that means. He told me, “What I needed to understand was that my complaint had been logged” and he was sending it to accounts. It hadn’t even been sent to accounts at 1600 yesterday! I issued a list of demands which included a written apology, an email, with MTN’s proof of payment of the money they had stolen from me into my account, an acknowledgement of their complete incompetence and the inconvenience it had caused and a call from the ‘manager’s boss. I promised that if this didn’t happen I would begin my massive anti MTN publicity campaign. From my stuff on facebook, twitter, hellopeter, MTNsucks, and avoidmtn, and now here, on meganshead, it is safe to assume that none of my demands were met.

Today, I called the dreaded 808 number again. This time I wanted to find out how to cancel my contract. I have 6 months to go and if I cancel early I will have to pay them thousands of ZAR not to mention another R1700 for the phone that died and they couldn’t fix.

This is a very, very sordid breakdown in relations. I find it obscene that a company can treat its customers like this. MTN fails on every single level. Pansi MTN pansi!

2010 World Cup meganshead style

One of the upsides of having a job related to the 2010 World Cup is that I am finding out some amazing things. I am doing quite intense research and am full of facts, figures and interesting bits and pieces, giving me huge insight into a world I know little about. The great visuals on youtube are really inspiring, but it’s the music I have fallen in love with! My absolute favourite is Algerian Cheb Bilal’s Bafana song. I love Arab/Middle East/North African music with a passion, and this one is a classic; and it’s called Bafana.

I also love Shakira’s official Waka Waka, and Kelly Rowland’s MTN song.

Consumer disobedience

I was in my final year of ‘varsity in 1986 (I know, by all calculations I should be dead!) and this was the height of political turmoil. South Africa was in a ‘state of emergency’, things were burning, people were in detention without trial, Adrian Vlok was in charge of education and ‘the quota system’ for universities, the ANC was a banned “communist” organisation, and we students were angry and active. But, being drama students at UCT’s Michaelis, and sharing the space with art students, resulted in us coming up with some interesting and effective (or at least we thought so at the time) civil disobedience campaigns. My favourite one, which I remember so clearly, was dragging red tape over all the toilet seats at CAPAB (now Artscape), with posters on the back walls explaining why people were being prevented from sitting down.

I was remembering this yesterday while I was trying to control myself from launching my body as a missile through the plate glass windows of MTN SP (SP stands for service provider. What a joke.) at Century City. I was there to fetch my piece of junk phone that I was coerced into taking as an upgrade when I had to blah blah blah a new contract in March this year. My phone broke, and although it had been fixed and was ready to collect on Monday, I was still ‘in the queue’ to be contacted, since they had such a ‘high volume’ of customers to get hold of. This is after me phoning about six times to find out if my phone was actually there. I didn’t want to make the unnecessary trip because you can wait for half a day in their ‘waiting’ section, after getting your damn number ticket at the door.

Needless to say, I had all the time in the world to think up a million, totally ineffective, things to say and do to somebody at MTN. But you never get to say and do it to the right person. They just don’t give you access to anyone. They stonewall you. They block you out. I hate MTN. Really. I do.

I resent the money they spend on advertising and branding and sponsorship while ripping us all off. I hate the fact that they are able to get away with the worst service, the most useless call centres, total inefficiency, false promises, and fake ‘deals’. I hate that it would cost me a preventative amount of money to cancel my renewed contract, and so they don’t even have to treat me like a human being. They have me by the short and curlies.

Now, I don’t want to break the law, I really am too old for that, but I would like to indulge in a consumer disobedience campaign against MTN. It will start here, on meganshead, and I am looking for ideas. I will continue slagging them off, writing to Hello Peter (I don’t even get a response any more) and complaining bitterly all over the show, but if any of you have any good ideas, please let me know.

Spot the contradiction

So here’s a copy of my hello peter  complaint and MTN’s pathetic reply. Anyone else spot the contradiction in it?

I am now at the end of my tether. I phone and scream at someone on 808 every single week. I have not received an account from MTN in three months. When I call to find out how much I owe I am given the wrong amount. I am paying for itemised billing that I don’t receive. I have confirmed my postal address and email account at least ten times. Where is my bill? Why can nobody help me? Why do I get shoved from menu to menu? Why do your operators put my call straight back into the menu system?
Is there anybody out there?

Hello megmoan,
Our apologies for the delay in response.
I have requested the billing department to kindly address this matter with urgency.
Regards
MTN – GRANT

So, he’s sorry for the delay in response but he has asked the billing dept to address this matter with urgency.

Official hate mail for MTN

That is it. Last straw. I am now going public on every space available to rant about disgusting, useless, pathetic cell phone non-service provider MTN. Even though I’ve linked to their pathetic web site, don’t bother to go there unless you have hours to waste. Even the telephone numbers to land lines are not answered.

Would you believe that I can’t get them to send me my bill? It’s been three months of me calling them, asking where my bill is, confirming my address and email address (which is exactly the same as it has been for years), being put on hold, being cut off, having to call again, being put on hold, having to confirm my address and email address, me screaming, being ‘put through’, which actually means either being cut off outright or getting the main menu again and then….starting all over with a new defensive call centre operator.

Last month I got no bill. Again. Then I got an automated voice threatening the suspension of my service for non-payment. I had to phone and find out how much I owed and demand that they sent me an account. Would you believe I was given the wrong amount? Would you believe that I never received the bill? I paid what I was told and then my account was suspended because I was in arrears for R84. No lies. I had to start screaming all over again. Insert para two here and repeat!

Does anyone know if there really is any way through the minefield of call centre operators? Is it possible to speak to someone else at MTN? Why have they spent all the money they make from me on fake advertising (get this and this and this for free!), sport sponsorship (cricket, soccer, rugby, you name it) and competitions? Why can’t I get a bill? I pay for itemised billing. How hilarious is that? I am literally paying for a service that they are literally not providing.

Omigod, I feel the hysterical waves of MTN rage coming on again. Big Friendly nearly had a heart attack when I started screaming this morning while he was in the shower.

Is there anyone out there who is happy with their cell phone service provider?