I am writing you this email because you never replied to my whatsapps and smses, and you don’t pick up when I phone you even though I know you can see my name and number and I know you are furious with me but how can I say sorry if you won’t let me? So I am going to say sorry in a email and maybe then you will answer your bladdy phone. Sorry Michelle ok? But I also really think that it wasn’t all my fault. I know I was supposed to help you organise it and everything but and how was I to know that it was gonna turn out like that Michelle hey? I mean when I said we could have your tupperware party at my house I didn’t know that Kevin was gonna have rugby at our house at the same time on the same day and he was gonna need the lounge because of the TV. I swear. Ok the change of houses was a big stuff up but YOU said we could move it to you and I thought that you would tell everyone and change the Facebook group Michelle!!!!! I really don’t think it was my fault that only four people came Michelle and I swear on my and Kevins and my mothers life Michelle I did NOT tell Carol Anne to bring Melinda who we all know stole Dave from you and is a psychobitch. I can’t flippen believe she came to your house even though she said she didn’t know it was your house cos she didn’t even know where you lived!!! It’s NOT MY FAULT you didn’t see her standing behind Carol Anne when you buzzed them in I swear. And Michelle I know she is a psychobitch but it is actually true what she said about Paddington only I never told you before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. He does stink Michelle. And he is unhygienic. And his spit is on your couch Michelle but I don’t mind so much but some people don’t want to sit in dog spit Michelle. And of course I know that he used to be Dave’s dog Michelle and that he just left him with you!!!!!! But like I said she is a psychobitch. And Michelle I DID NOT tell her that it wasn’t real tupperware and actually the cheap stuff but honestly Michelle you could see that the lids were thin and didn’t fit properly and were hard to close. And it wasn’t MY IDEA to put bladdy beetroot salad in a tupperware as an example Michelle and then to pass it around and then when Melinda tipped it over and it spilled on her fake Looey Viton bag and she went hysterical I tried to catch it Michelle but it was slippery from leaking and I swear it just slid out of my hands Michelle and when Paddington jumped up it exploded on him and your flokati. I KNOW you can’t get beetroot juice out of a flokati Michelle but it is a mock flokati. I really think you were unfair to kick us out after that even though nobody remembered to bring cash even though you said on the Facebook group which YOU FORGOT TO CHANGE Michelle that we must bring cash. And of course I know you haven’t got a credit card machine Michelle I think Melinda was just trying to piss you off because like I said she is a psychobitch. And I know you saw the photos on Facebook Michelle because they tagged me even after I said they mustn’t cos I knew you would be upset and I didn’t want you to find out we went to Characters for a few drinks after you kicked us out but even though we did I SWEAR I didn’t say one single word to Melinda while we were there and I know I am standing next to her in the photos but they said from shortest to tallest and me and her are nearly the same height Michelle!!!!!!! And I know you saw us holding the tupperware shot glasses but we DID NOT STEAL THEM Michelle we honestly thought they were free samples. I am not a thief Michelle I am your best friend and I can’t believe you are gonna let a tupperware party be the end of our friendship. I thought we were better friends than that Michelle because you even said I was your BFF and now look and plus we were still friends when you said I could wear your purple dress to Laurens thing and its this weekend. Sorry Michelle. Please whatsapp me when you read this and please read it before its the weekend so I can come fetch the purple dress ok? xxxx
This is the final tandem post of our series. Please check out these other fab writers who also wrote about Tupperware Party.