It is only fair to say that I felt like going out last night as little as I wished I was a frozen fish finger. Not. But it was to The Kalk Bay Theatre (good place to go) and when I arrived I sat down and spoke about puppynesses to a table of animal adorers until the show began (good thing to do).

Bench; a two hander written by Brent Palmer and performed by Brent Palmer and Adrian Collins and directed by Michael kirch. This was its “global premier” as Simon Cooper put it. Bench is the story of two skollies, Henry (Palmer) and Dwain (Collins) who are waiting on a bench outside the National Gallery. They are waiting to put into action a rather shoddy plan to steal a painting. And they talk a whole lot of very very funny kak.

I loved both characters. Henry is a pompous, creepy, used car salesman type, grease ball, long moustached creepazoid. Dwain is the put upon, gatvol ex-con who really doesn’t want to be there. The characters are absolutely classic and work really brilliantly together.

Sometimes the getting out of the story is a bit challenging – there might be a little too much of it; too much justification, too much convolution, situation, historification (a word I am sure Henry would manage) and that can overwhelm the journey a bit, but the characters are the delight and the redemption.

I love the Tarrantino turned duidelik vibe. I love the filthy and brightly coloured language. I love the status shifts between the two.  I love the subtle Company Gardens soundtrack. My opinion? Lose the distracting and stinky cigarette. Tighten up some of the beats. Rely on the characters more and the story less.

Bench will grow and shift for sure. Brent and Adrian will play around as their characters. They are well on the way to discovering what this is all about. I imagine that when they can they will lose some of the plot and will end up more and more being two skollies on a bench, talking kak. In the meantime, there are some, no, many proper laugh out loud moments that make this production absolutely kak funny.