A friend of mine, a stunning, gorgeous, independent, talented, passionate, dynamic, popular and successful friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. She had had that sixth sense that something wasn’t right and had asked him many times and he had denied that anything was the matter. Then she surprised him with a visit and caught him. He was absolutely shocked and wanted to talk but she was clear it was over. When she told me I was incredulous and furious. I couldn’t believe that someone could cheat on her. I cannot understand why anyone would cheat on her. And I can’t understand why he just didn’t tell her that he had fallen for someone else.

The more I think about it the more I imagine how she must have been the ideal woman in the beginning; the exactly right amount of independent, self-sufficient, popular, social, driven, sexy and strong that made her so desirable. Were these the qualities that made him look for something else in another? Did he become threatened by her confidence and success and independence, and did he look for someone less those things and more dependent, needy and totally available? Then could he just not bring himself to tell her because she was so strong and this made him into a coward?

I don’t get it. I don’t understand the cheating part. I get that people fall in love accidentally and unavoidably, even when they are with somebody else, but I don’t get how they can’t say so. Why can’t they own up, admit, get it over with? I am hurt for my friend because she was cheated on for all the wrong reasons. And it makes no sense.