Warning – Not for the squeamish

  1. It takes forever for the last couple of rows to get their drinks
  2. Air hostesses are terrified of nausea
  3. You know things are really bad when you have enough time in the bathroom to notice the decommissioned ashtray, in the loo.
  4. You move from your perfectly fantastic aisle seat near the front to the bumpy last row so you are as close to the damn toilet as you can get.
  5. The airhostess, who has been a real grump, brings you flat coke because she is terrified of nausea.
  6. Everyone on the plane knows why you moved and went to the back. There is only ever one reason.
  7. Time goes even slower
  8. You remember everything you left out of the workshop, even though it ran over time.
  9. You realise that you are a far better actress than you are given credit for. Nobody at the workshop knew you were sick, and all were perfectly happy with the frequent toilet breaks.
  10. When you go back to the loo it is so loud you can’t hear the difference between farts and the stinky water that leaves your bum.
  11. When you go back to the loo you are grateful it is so loud because you can feel the noises you are making
  12. Drunk people eating are the worst thing to watch when nauseous on a plane
  13. When you can’t check the internet to see whether you have life threatening symptoms, even though everyone back home has had or knows someone who has had this gruesome gastro
  14. You wish you had something to eat to prevent the nausea but you gag every time you think of food.
  15. You imagine how much weight you will lose, at least
  16. You cry real tears to be home