Because I read tarot cards for people (not myself, I can’t), I understand and recognise the feeling before a reading where the person experiences fear. It comes in different physical forms; sweaty palms, an inability to focus, dry mouth, butterflies, or a weird growing heat that flushes the whole body. It doesn’t hang around, this fear feeling, because there really isn’t anything scary about tarot. It isn’t supernatural, or fortune telling. Still, in that moment when we believe we are about to come face to face with some truth we don’t know yet, or something about our future, we get scared.
I think this very human thing is really funny. Honestly, we should be feeling that feeling all the time (and some anxiety sufferers do, I am sure), but mostly we live comfortably blindly, knowing but not necessarily computing that things can change on a dime, and all good plans only sort of maybe kinda could possibly but probably won’t be realised. We live in the space between hope and despair, confidence and insecurity, future and past, and entirely dependent on the strange turnings of the universe and the unfolding story we are part of.
Tarot is like an idea sieve. It catches some ideas and presents them for closer examination. It allows us to ask questions and then see what could happen if we play things out. It presents us with a picture, symbol, and then meaning of things, all to help us understand how we fit in to place and time.
On a deeply personal level I live between knowing and not knowing, wanting to know and not wanting to, in the moment in a positive, could be kind of way, and at the same time out of that moment in a what is the world coming to kind of way. Sliding doors. Affirmations. Balance of scales.
Letting go. Holding on tightly. Thinking myself into. Wiggling myself out of. Tarot is a lovely way of gently telling one which one to do now.
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