Megan's Head

A place where Megan gets off her head.

Tag: tarot

Manifesting

I manifested something today. Not a big thing, but a niggling, back of my mind, need to get to it thing, that I may or may not have written down somewhere. Anyway, I manifested it. And I know that I do this all the time, without too much effort. It is more about recognising it when it happens.

Next week it is my 56th birthday. Last year my birthday fell on the day before our first, radical lockdown. I was a gibbering, zombie of a wreck. My entire life had been upended, I had no idea who I was, where I was or how to proceed. A year later I am a survivor. I am broken, bent, but learning my new shape. And I am mostly, miraculously, because of friends and family, and therapy, and resilience and a touch of true insanity, and animal love, ok. I am ok.

I have managed to do some stuff, and survive some stuff, and even make some stuff. One of the things I have been doing more of, and doing more powerfully, is my ‘tarot’ readings.  I use the word tarot loosely because of my original, untraditional deck – The Secret Dakini Oracle. And I am getting ready to welcome a new tarot deck into my life, and the lives of those having readings with me. Now, it is not very good to go off and buy your own decks (even though I am sure that is old magic, and not even necessarily true). I received the Secret Dakini Oracle in the most profound and special way (Peter Susman, I will never forget) and I am putting it out there that I am ready to receive another deck. I am manifesting it.

If you have a deck (not the Rider Waite traditional one) that you don’t connect to, or have outgrown, or if you have a suggestion about a deck I should be calling my attention to, just hold me in the space of receiving, and let’s see what happens. I will totally keep you posted.

What we know what we don’t

Because I read tarot cards for people (not myself, I can’t), I understand and recognise the feeling before a reading where the person experiences fear. It comes in different physical forms; sweaty palms, an inability to focus, dry mouth, butterflies, or a weird growing heat that flushes the whole body. It doesn’t hang around, this fear feeling, because there really isn’t anything scary about tarot. It isn’t supernatural, or fortune telling. Still, in that moment when we believe we are about to come face to face with some truth we don’t know yet, or something about our future, we get scared.

I think this very human thing is really funny. Honestly, we should be feeling that feeling all the time (and some anxiety sufferers do, I am sure), but mostly we live comfortably blindly, knowing but not necessarily computing that things can change on a dime, and all good plans only sort of maybe kinda could possibly but probably won’t be realised. We live in the space between hope and despair, confidence and insecurity, future and past, and entirely dependent on the strange turnings of the universe and the unfolding story we are part of.

Tarot is like an idea sieve. It catches some ideas and presents them for closer examination. It allows us to ask questions and then see what could happen if we play things out. It presents us with a picture, symbol, and then meaning of things, all to help us understand how we fit in to place and time.

On a deeply personal level I live between knowing and not knowing, wanting to know and not wanting to, in the moment in a positive, could be kind of way, and at the same time out of that moment in a what is the world coming to kind of way. Sliding doors. Affirmations. Balance of scales.

Letting go. Holding on tightly. Thinking myself into. Wiggling myself out of. Tarot is a lovely way of gently telling one which one to do now.

Contact me (megan@improvision.co.za) or leave a message in the comments with your details here on meganshead for more info about my readings (R400 in person or on Skype) or to make a booking.

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